- I am married 20 years and I always love the same woman.
- I find this admirable!
- And dangerous ... If my wife finds out, she will kill me!

A young man with his father in a shop, they get near to a shelter with condoms.
- What are these, Dad?
- Condoms, son.
- And why are the packs of 1, 3 and 12?
- You see, those (1) are for a high school for Saturday night,
those (3) are for students: one for Friday, one for Saturday and one on Sunday,
while 12 are for married men: one for January, one for February , one for March ...

A famous gangster gives his fiancé a gorgeous pearl necklace. Excited, the young girl asks:
- They are fantastic! I know it is not done, but I am very curious. How much can cost something like this?
- Well, approximately, five to ten years.

A gorgeous lady is hitchhiking on a highway to Paris.
A red Jaguar stops, and takes her in. They start moving and the man says:
-Lady you are the third pregnant woman I take to Paris.
-But I'm not pregnant, says the lady.
-We didn't reach Paris yet.

In the cockpit of a plane the pilot says to copilot:
-I will drink my coffee then I'm going to make love with the blond stewardess.
The stewardess hears that and runs to tell the pilot that he forgot the microphone open, and all people in the plane heard that.
In the middle of the plane an old man stops the stewardess:
-Why do you run like that miss, let the pilot drink he's coffee first.